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DAY 7 - FEB 3 - WHERE DEEPTHROAT EFFECTS A CITIZEN'S ARREST + A DEAR IN THE HEADLIGHTS
Well, way more drama and excitement today than I would have liked. I couldn't help but think of my favorite Chinese curse: "May you live in exciting times".
Began by wandering down to Walking Street about 8pm to sample a bunch of the GG discos. I had fun, felt some nice breasts and kissed a few nice lips, and lightened my wallet a few hundred baht with ladydrinks and waters for the gentleman. I quickly came to understand that most of the real stars don't arrive on the scene until 10, 11, or 12 oclock so you're playing with the Farm Team until then, but some of them are future stars and just need a bit of seasoning. There were a few definite diamonds in the rough, but nothing worth spending silly money (1500 baht for girl + 600 for barfine + 350 for short time room) to have an assignation with.
Around 10pm I decided to make my way to EZY to check in on my favorites and see who was around. On my way I ran into a lovely young Ladyboy I'd seen the past few nights. She was engaged in altercation with a foreign tourist who was yelling and gesturing at her, and she was brandishing her purple comb like some sort of Ladyboy Light Saber. The cops or someone in authority came and seemed to sort things out, she wai'd a couple of times to the officer and rolled her eyes at me with a smile. I figured the tourist had been surprised to discover his prospective date was better endowed then he and had taken umbrage.
As the officer was focused on now placating the tourist and ignoring the ladyboy, I asked her if I could take her picture. My experience so far has been that many LB's seem very aware of the prospective benefit of having their pictures on the internet, and most are just unable to stop themselves from preening and posing when I ask to take a picture. Picture taken, she then extended a hand and asked for 100 baht. I laughed and said "no" and began walking back towards the Soi that EZY resides on.
About 30 paces down Walking Street I felt a presence beside me, and turned to find her now standing at my right hip. She repeated something about paying her for the picture and I told her I would not pay her for her picture, she should have said that before she agreed to let me photograph her, but I would be willing to delete her photo from my camera. She said she wanted me to do this.
Pulling the camera out, I turned it on and motioned her to come look over my left shoulder to see that I was deleting the picture. As I was fumbling with the controls, I felt a light tug at my left pocket, and quickly snapped my left hand to my thigh and discovered someone's hand in my pocket! I grabbed the wrist as if to twist it into a policeman's hold (instinct) while also trying to put the camera back into my right pocket with my other hand, but she yanked back, then took a swipe at my throat with her Ladyboy Light Sword.
At this I went slightly nutz, grabbed her around the neck and threw her to the pavement like I was some sort of WWF Wrestler in a cage match. Having her now on the ground with me kneeling above her, I grabbed her throat and held the side of her face pressed to the concrete and began yelling for the Tourist Police at the top of my lungs.
Within a moment two officers were approaching, and they waved at me to let the girl up. It was at about that moment I realized I could be really fu*#ed here. I'd reacted purely on instinct and adrenaline, but now I thought This Is Thailand. For all I knew, they might want to take us both downtown, or for an instant the thought crossed my mind that they might want to charge me with battery. But once I'd let go of my captive they waved at me to move on down the walk; nothing more to see here sir.
The ladyboy immediately began crying crocodile tears, and I must admit I felt a pang of sympathy. And to be completely honest, I feel even worse now. That's really crazy, I know - she tried to rob me, and I merely protected myself and made sure she was handed over to the authorities. But I still feel awful about hurting her, and maybe causing her to go to jail. If it were a dude, I'd still be pumped up over the whole thing, but with her, I feel sadness and guilt.
As they were hauling her away down towards the "Tourist Police Mobile Precinct" I snapped another picture.
Keep a lookout for this thief; let the buyer beware.
