Solice
-
Content Count
10,713 -
Joined
-
Days Won
151
Everything posted by Solice
-
I walked into WH Smiths and said " Have you got that self help book for men with small penis's?" the female assistant replied " I dont think its in yet" I said "yeah thats the one"
-
All booked, 38 days to go
-
Got a singapore airlines flight on hold, 40 days and counting if I take it
-
I was showing my doctor a nasty rash on my cock today, he seemed pretty uncomfortable and didnt want to touch it. He just said make an appointment for Monday morning and carried on pushing his shopping trolley around Asda
-
George Michael has sympathisedwith the captain of the stricken Italian liner, saying.....'Im often left abandoned and lying on my side with a badly damaged bottom and dead seamen inside me after a nights cruising
-
My new girlfriend says I have to wait 6 months before she will suck my cock. I told her I understand and respect her decision and I will give her a call nearer the time.
-
Watching the news about the stricken cruise ship and the sky presenter said "shes lying on her side with a gash the size of a tennis court" I just happened to glance at the wife and now its all kicked off
-
My budgie got out of his cage and fucked the dog, ive got some puppies going cheep if anyones interested...
-
Found a Dvd the other day entitled 'bald and barely leagal'. Chuffed to bits I rushed home put the disc in and sat there with my cock in my hand ready to bash one out......Turns out it was a ministry of transport film on tyre tread depths.
-
Just bought 5 piglets, all the food for 3 months and a sty built, all for 14,000 baht, bargain !!!
-
Back at home and back to reality
-
Just arrived in Patts after a few days in the village. To all those in the 'know' its gone well guys.
-
Fie I'm at the airport now, just thought you would want to know
-
On the big bird tomorrow
-
Anybody flown long haul with Swiss Air, whats your view?
-
My daughter got sent home from school for swearing. "what did you say" I asked, "The C word" she replied. I looked at her with disappointment and said "its not clever is it"? "No" she said, "it was cunt"
-
For the last 2 weeks ive been talking to a 13 year old girl on the internet, now she tell me shes an undercover cop..................How cool is that at her age.
-
A new survey has just been carried out which shows that 1 in 3 women is just as fukin stupid as the other 2
-
I got the Christmas decorations out of the Attic last night and came across a present I forgot to give the kids last year. Its a shame because they would have fekin loved that dog.
-
Last night I confessed to my mate that I'd been seeing his wife. He looked me in the eyes and said "Are you serious?" I said " No, nothing like that, its just for a shag"
-
Not long until Christmas now, in fact the wife was just asking me if I knew the best way to bone a turkey. I said i'd probably get it pissed and try to finger it first.
-
Ive just had the police at the door! The cheeky fucker held up a photo of the mrs and said "is this your girlfriend?" "yes" I reply, "im sorry but it looks like shes been in a traffic accident sir" I said "yes I know, but she has a great personality".
-
Marriage is like a deck of cards, in the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you'll wish you had a fucking club and a spade....
-
I remember the wife suggesting I get one of those penis enlargers, so I did.... Shes 23 and her names Paeng.
